After a breakup, people tend to give their ex far too much importance. The truth is that your ex doesn't matter anymore. This is your time to focus on yourself.
So often, when someone wants to do something after a breakup, the first thing they ask is whether their ex would like it. They want to unfriend them, start seeing someone new, or just do whatever they feel like doing. So why don't they? Because they're afraid of what their ex will think. Your ex isn't in your life anymore. Why give them the power to decide what you do with it today?
Stop doing things because you think your ex would love them, and stop avoiding things because you think they wouldn't. Your life is yours. After a breakup you need to think about yourself and what will help you most. Don't let your ex decide for you, especially now that they're gone. Handing someone else control of your life is the worst thing you can do.
You can be angry with your ex. You can feel hurt, you can feel confused, and that's normal. But none of those feelings mean you owe your ex anything, because you don't. Nobody, and especially not your ex, gets to decide what's right for you. Only you do.
The other thing to stop is thinking about your ex's life. Whether they're seeing someone new, whether they're happy without you, whether they've started over: it's not yours to follow. They're free to do what they want, and you can't prevent it. I know these aren't the words you want to hear, but I'd rather tell you the truth, because I want you to heal. That means accepting reality and thinking about yourself and the people who are actually in your life. Your ex is part of your past, so leave them there.
Your ex was a huge part of your life, so of course their opinion mattered. It doesn't anymore. You live in the present, and it's yours to make good. Leave your ex in the past, where they belong, and rebuild yourself and your future.
