After a breakup, we tend to run after our ex. We send messages, we try to call, we check their social media, and we do everything we can to get them back. Sometimes we even do crazy things we'll regret later.
Here are three reasons why it's a bad idea, and why you have to let your ex go.
It doesn't matter whether you want your ex back or want to move on. Either way, you have to let them go. Maybe you keep talking to them out of habit, maybe because you're afraid they'll forget you, maybe because you just can't stop.
The first reason is that running after your ex takes away their freedom. I know it's hard to think about the other side, and to be respectful when they weren't, but you have to be. Stay a good person even when someone hurts you. I don't want you to change who you are because of anyone.
Your ex chose to let you go, to move on, to leave. That's their right, even if you think they're wrong, even if you believe they can only be happy with you, even if you think you can prove them wrong. You have to respect their decision. Every person gets to choose where they go and who they're with. You can't control that. I know it's painful to accept, but you can't take away someone else's freedom. Respect others and be a good person. It's always the right thing to do. Let your ex go. If they come back, it will be their choice. If they don't, you deserve better.
The second reason is that there's a lesson here for you. Maybe your ex will come back and maybe not. But for now, it didn't work, and you broke up. That means something in the relationship was wrong, and it's worth understanding what. That will help in your next relationship, and it will help if your ex does come back.
A breakup is a powerful lesson either way. You can grow so much from it and become a better person and a better partner. It helps you understand what you're looking for, what you love and what you don't want. If you put all your energy into getting your ex back, maybe you'll succeed, but you'll miss the lesson. That's why I'm asking you to focus on yourself and take a break: to think, to reflect, to grow and to learn. Give yourself that lesson.
The third reason to slow down and look at the situation is that your ex chose to let you go. Right now you have feelings, and you don't want to lose the person you love. But ask yourself: do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Do you want to choose someone who doesn't choose you? Someone who doesn't want you around can't be the right person for you.
When you give yourself time to think, you'll make better decisions. You don't want to do things that hurt you just because you're acting on impulse. Take your time and ask whether being with that person is really right for you. You may find that you deserve much better, and that there's no point in trying to get them back.
I wanted my ex back too. But I took some time for myself, to think and reflect. After a few days I could see clearly that I didn't want to be with someone who didn't want me. It became simple. I loved her so much, and giving up on that was hard, but I couldn't compromise on feeling loved.
You can't take someone else's freedom, and you have to respect everyone. You're hurting, and you can still take something good from this and grow, so don't miss it. Don't rush a decision. Take the time to reflect, and you'll come to better conclusions.
