You found out your ex cheated on you, and the relationship ended. It doesn't really matter who ended it, because the pain is the same. You're hurt, you feel betrayed, and you don't know what to do. In most ways the reason for a breakup doesn't change how you heal. But cheating brings its own thoughts with it, and I think we should talk about them.
My first piece of advice: don't blame yourself. After being cheated on, it's easy to take the blame. People tell themselves they didn't give enough, and that's why their ex cheated. Maybe something was missing for your ex, and maybe not, and you gave everything you had. Either way, nobody is perfect. Every couple has problems, every person has flaws, and you can never be the perfect one. When there's a problem, the right and logical thing to do is talk about it and try to solve it. If your ex chose to cheat instead of dealing with the problem, that's on them, not you. That's the main reason it isn't your fault.
I'm not saying you're perfect, or that you had nothing to do with how the relationship went. But don't think your partner was perfect either. They didn't take responsibility for the relationship. Instead of trying to make things work, they ran away and cheated. You can only work on what's in your control, and if your ex didn't do their part, that's not your fault. Keep working on yourself, don't try to change other people, and remember you deserve someone who loves you as you are, flaws, fears and insecurities included.
Another thing not to do: don't go looking for answers. Don't try to work out why your ex cheated, because you won't find an answer, or at least not one that satisfies you. Maybe they'll blame you. Maybe they'll be honest and give you a reasonable explanation. Maybe you'll never hear what you want to hear. Accept reality as it is and focus on the present. Digging through the past won't take you where you want to go.
Don't compare yourself to the person your ex cheated with. There's no point, because this isn't about you or what you have or don't have. It's about your ex and their problems. You can't be someone you're not, and you shouldn't pretend to be, because you want someone who loves you for who you are.
One last thing. People often wonder whether to give someone who cheated a second chance, because it's common for them to be sorry afterwards and want to fix things. I don't know if a cheater is always a cheater, but if someone did it once, they can do it again. Personally, I don't think you need to go back to someone who cheated on you. You deserve better. But it's your decision. If your ex comes back sorry and you truly believe them, that's your call to make.
Remember: being cheated on doesn't make it your fault. Don't blame yourself, don't take on responsibility that isn't yours, and don't search for explanations that may not exist. You deserve to be happy. Never forget that.
